Australia Part 1

The other day I had a chance to share minor details with someone about my experience in Australia 2 years ago. It got me thinking about how much stuff I was forgetting about it so I'm going to do my best to share with you what I experienced.

First of all, how did I even end up there? I literally was sitting at home one day and thought I'd see if there were any longboarding DTS's and YWAM Newcastle was the first thing that popped up. So I did a little researching and emailed them just for kicks, not really expecting anything to happen out of it. When they seriously asked me to consider going I thought why not? What am I even doing with my life right now? I was probably just sitting there eating a one person lasagne while watching Lord of the Rings for the millionth time. So I totally went! Full on.

The worst part about going there was the 10 hour layover I had in LA where I literally had no wifi so I went to the burger bar by myself and cried a little with the knowledge that I would never return home to my family. Saddest day, for real. Anwho I ended up getting there, but I had no idea what I was in for. Likeeeeee noooo idea.

So I did the compassion DTS ps. It consisted of about 25-30 students of which only had 1 boy. Its okay though cause a lot of the girls fit in with boys anyways (ie. one of the girls who openly picks her nose and puts it on her bedpost, the other girl who would come into our room every night to give us a goodnight fart, and me who sometimes peed my pants but only from laughing). Not that guys normally pee their pants, but nevermind.

We had lectures every day on different subjects (once I find my lecture book I will make a post about all the best things I learned from it). But holy moly, lectures were nuts. My first reaction was why the heck don't we learn these things in church? My mind was boggled. We spent literally every day pretty much just with God, just getting to know Him and just being with Him and cracking jokes with Him or crying with Him. It was incredible. It was the first time I could actually make sense of what it was like to hear God's voice. Just amazing.

Dinner time was one of my favourite times. The whole base would gather together to eat and fellowship with each other and man I just really miss that community. Eating + community = my bread n butter.

One of the coolest/hardest weeks of lectures was openness and brokenness. Where everyone takes a turn to tell their story to the class and receive affirmation and prayer. I was kind of dreading it. I remember trying to write it out and I just couldn't make sense of it all. But to put things in a nutshell I had severe insecurities about myself from a number of different experiences I had gone through in life. And the hard part about making that news public was because I felt shameful about how I viewed myself. But this crazy thing happened, I felt new again, and I experienced an incredible freedom from doing that. I felt like I lost all the heaviness I was carrying around and it all just made me love God more and more because He is just so faithful and his word is so true and He really does love us.

I had days where I would go sit under a tree in the backyard of our base and I would just sit there and just be there with God. And I usually cried, sometimes I played guitar and just worshipped. I was just so in awe of Him. Those times in my life are some of the most valued memories I have. Now that I'm home and have a job and whatever I am so busy all the time. And I've come to the realization of how much I miss just being with God. He wants that so much just to be with us. But I am learning that I need to make time for God in my life or else I will start to forget Him. It's almost like how when your friend moves away or something you stop talking to them and you lose touch. Well I lost touch with God because I just didn't make time for Him. But I need Him more than anything else. My greatest joys are from Him. And without Him I'd just be a sack of potatoes. So I'm really excited that I get to hangout with Him more and realign my heart. That's it for today. More blogs soon.

Now or Future?

So its 7:47pm on september 4th, 2014. I went to work today, it was pretty busy and that is a good thing. I came home and thought of only how tired I was and I kinda just wanted to go to sleep, so I decided to go jogging and then write my first blog ever. So that's a thing. Also, if my blogs are terribly put together then I'm sorry, you'll have to get over it. 

I've been thinking a lot about life lately (not that I don't always). I wonder when my life is going to come together. Sometimes my mind is only set on one thing and I want things to only work my way. I want to get married young to a super fun adventurous God loving guy. I want to have the coolest kids ever who can one day become flipping legends who also love God. I want kids who would love nacho libre as much as I do. I also want to raise a family that isn't surfacy. I want to have a home that I can share with others. I want others to tell me I have the best selection of tea to offer. I want to travel more. I want to teach art to impoverished children. I want to play music more and learn how to play guitar better. I want to still be doing wild things even when I'm 50. I want to be homeless for part of my life. I want to live in an environment where I am completely dependent on God and nothing else. So my life is all set up in my mind. And I expected it to just naturally happen without any flaws. And well...lets be real. Life doesn't work that way. 

I find myself always worrying about my future. But what about today? God cares about our future, he's got that. But God also cares about today. God cares about right now. Sometimes it's in those times when we are panicking about tomorrow that God is like "Hey, don't worry about tomorrow. Right now is all that matters. Live in the moment, not in the future. When we live in the future we miss out on so many crazy opportunities that God has for us. God has this incredible thing where He creates beautiful things out of everyday situations. He is the God of abundance. And yet we still can't allow God to write our story for us. We are afraid to hand the pen over to God. But I've been in many situations where I have my own expectations and God completely exceeds them. And it's been those moments that make me want God writing my story. He knows us more than we or anybody else does. He knows every intricate detail about our lives. He is perfect. He is faithful. He is ever pursuing. 

Our lives will never be perfect in an imperfect world. But God can create beauty out of our mistakes. And when we focus on the now God will create beautiful things. God is the best!